[d3t]

troglodyte, lambda on pmst sama mis see? http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb397687.aspx

[ufo56]

[troglodyte]

[-KRANTS-]

min ei tea, mida need teevad, ega oska ka neid kasutada (midagi tegema panna), aga siin on ka miskit: http://sevenwires.blogspot.com/search/label/code

[rycyve]

[Drakan]

Kusagilt ammusest ajast pärit:

<?
/*
Red Hat
written by Sharl Perro

translated by Karpachev Vladislav (v-ad)
*/


include("lib/perro.inc.php");

$little_girl = new Little_Girl;
$mother = new Mother($little_girl);
$grandmother = new Mother($mother);

$mother -> Love($little_girl);
$grandmother -> Love($little_girl);

$little_girl -> Birthsday();

$grandmother -> Present($little_girl, "Punane müts");
$little_girl -> Walk(1);

$neighbors = new Neighbors($little_girl);
$neighbors -> Talk($neighbors, "Vaata, Punamütsike läheb!");

$red_hat = $little_girl;
unset($little_girl);

sleep(rand());
$Cake = $mother -> Make("Kook");
$mother -> Talk($red_hat, "Punamütsike, mine õige vanaemale külla, vii talle kooku ja moosi ning vaata, kas ta on ka terve.");

$Pot = new Pot("?oos");
array_push($red_hat -> item, $Cake);
array_push($red_hat -> item, $Pot);
$grandmother_house = $grandmother->item['house'];
$red_hat -> Walk($grandmother_house['position']);

$forest = new Forest;
$red_hat -> position = $forest -> position;
$wolf = new Animal("wolf");
$wolf -> can_talk = True;

$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Kuhu sa läheda, Punamütsike?");
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Lähen vanaema juurde ja viin talle kooku ja moosi.");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Aga kas su vanaema elab kaugel?");
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Kaugel. Sellest külast välja, veskist mööda, esimeses majas metsa ääres.");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Olgu, ma tahan ka su vanaema näha. Ma lähen mööda seda teed, sa võta see teine tee. Vaatame, kes enne kohale jõuab.");

$wolf -> Run(min($forest -> way), max($wolf -> spirit));

$red_hat -> Walk(max($forest -> way));
$red_hat -> Keep($forest -> flowers);

if($red_hat -> position < $forest -> mill['position']){
$wolf -> position = $grandmother_house['position'];
$wolf -> Knocking($grandmother_house['door']);
$grandmother -> Talk($wolf, "Kes seal on?");
$wolf -> Talk($grandmother, "See olen mina, teie lapselaps, Punamütsike, ma tulin teile külla ja tõin kooki ja moosi.");
$grandmother -> ill = True;
$grandmother -> Cover($grandmother_house['bed']);
$grandmother -> Think($wolf->lastmessage, True);
$grandmother -> Talk($wolf, "Tõmba nöörist lapsuke!");
if($wolf -> Pull($grandmother_house['door']['rope']))
$grandmother_house['door']['status']="opened";
$wolf -> Eat($grandmother);
unset($grandmother);
$grandmother = $wolf;
$wolf -> Push($grandmother_house['door']);
$wolf -> Cover($grandmother_house['bed']);
$wolf -> Wait($red_hat);
}

$red_hat -> Knocking($grandmother_house['door']);
$wolf -> voice['huskiness']++;
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Kes seal on?");

$red_hat -> scary++;
$red_hat -> Think($grandmother -> ill, True);
$red_hat -> scary--;

$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "See olen mina, teie lapselaps. Tõin teile kooki ja moosi!");
$wolf -> voice['huskiness']--;
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Tõmba nöörist lapsuke, saad ukse lahti.");
if($red_hat -> Pull($grandmother_house['door']['rope']))
$grandmother_house['door']['status']="opened";
$wolf -> Hide($grandmother_house['bed']);
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Lapsuke, aseta pirukas toolile, moos lauale, ise tule heida minu kõrvale.");
$red_hat -> Cover($grandmother_house['bed']);
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Vanaema, miks sul nii suured käed on?");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "See on selleks, et sind paremini kallistada saaks, lapsuke.");
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Vanaema, miks sul nii suured kõrvad on?");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Et paremini kuulda, lapsuke.");
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Vanaema, miks sul nii suured silmad on?");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Et paremini näha, lapsuke.");
$red_hat -> Talk($wolf, "Vanaema, miks sul nii suured hambad on?");
$wolf -> Talk($red_hat, "Et sind kiiremini ära süüa, lapsuke!");

$wolf -> Eat($red_hat);
unset($red_hat);

$loggers = new Loggers(rand(3,5));
$loggers -> position = $grandmother_house['position'];
$loggers -> item[]="axe";

$loggers -> Kill($wolf);
$result = $loggers -> Open($wolf -> body);
unset($wolf);
$red_hat = $result[0];
$grandmother = $result[1];

?>

[-KRANTS-]

[troglodyte]

[mikk36]

[-KRANTS-]

[Ho Ho]

Mine õpi siis programmeerimist. Või eeldad et suudad aru saada ka väga spetsiifilise valdkonna naljadest mis baseeruvad tolle valdkonna teadmistel? Mis sa arvad kui kõvasti sa naeraksid tuumafüüsikute naljade üle?

[d3t]

[Elric]

Mac OS X 4.11 konsool

[Subu]

[Ragnar7474]

[d3t]

[Ho Ho]

[guest1902]

Terminali: "man woman"

[oicu]

[Ho Ho]

Spoiler

[MMX-Power]

Spoiler

[B22stard]

Pole küll otseselt programmeerimisega seotud, aga vana hea linuxi command:

[creepyguy4]

[Ho Ho]

Spoiler

[troglodyte]

Väga hea Ho Ho.. allikas?

[Ho Ho]

Mina sain selle pildikese siit: http://armorydatamine.wordpress.com/2009/07/27/canary-in-a-data-mine/

Esimese 5 minuti googeldamisega ei suutnud ma leida originaali, kõik hostisid toda pilti oma serveris miskipärast.

[-Innu-]

Leidsin projekti koodist ühe huvitava kommentaari:

[sigakoer]

Programmeerimiskeel LOLCODE

[Number47]

Omaette klassika. Kunagi dc.ee lehel rippus selline txt fail. Väidetavalt osa win95 sortsust

Spoiler

Warning: do not compile; unpredictable results Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE *** Project:  Version - Windows 95 Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE): #include #include #include  /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include  /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x) #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE #define next_year soon #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version void main() {   if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)   {     if (there_are_still_bugs)       market(bugfix);     if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)       raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_blank_BUGLESS_VERSION);   }   while(everyone_chats_about_blank_version)   {     make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in                                                     lie.h */     if (rumours_grow_wilder)       make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);     if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)     {       market_time=ripe;       say("It will be ready in one month);       order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);       order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_blank_version);       order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);       vapourware=TRUE;       break;      }   }   switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)   {      case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:        say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");        break;     case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:        say("Yes it will work");        ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);        pretend(there_is_no_problem);        break;      case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:        say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"            " the 32 bits architecture");        inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");        inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"               "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");        inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");        get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);        break;      case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:        say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for             everyone");        register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);        when(time_is_ripe)        {          arrest(journalist);          brainwash(journalist);          when(journalist_says_windows_95_is_bugfree)          {            order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");            release (journalist);          }        }        break;    }    while (vapourware)    {      introduction_date++; /* Delay */      if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)        break;      say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);   }   release(beta_version)   while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)   {     bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;     release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);     introduce(more_memory_requirements);     if (customers_report_installation_problems)     {       say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");       if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)       {         ignore(customer);         order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this                                               bastard");       }     }     if ( bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years )     {       divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her);       wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);       marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);       devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);       if (boobies_start_to_hang)         dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);     }     if (there_is_another_company)     {       steal(their_ideas);       accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);       hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */       wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);       buy_out(other_company);     }   }   /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at      us */   order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);   buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);   laugh_at(everyone, for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version); } void bugfix(void) {   charge (a_lot_of_money)   if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)     say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");   if (still_complaints)   {     ignore(customer);     register(customer, big_Bill_book);     /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/   } }

[virus152]

Spoiler

[creepyguy4]

Spoiler

High School/Jr.High

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"         20 END

First year in College

program Hello(input, output)           begin              writeln('Hello World')           end.

Senior year in College

(defun hello           (print            (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

#include         void main(void)          {           char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};            int i;            for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)              printf("%s", message[i]);            printf("\n");         }

Seasoned professional

#include         #include          class string         {          private:           int size;            char *ptr;          public:            string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}            string(const string &s) : size(s.size)           {            ptr = new char[size + 1];            strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);            }            ~string()           {            delete [] ptr;            }            friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);            string &operator=(const char *);           };          ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)          {            return(stream << s.ptr);          }          string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)          {           if (this != &chrs)            {             delete [] ptr;           size = strlen(chrs);           ptr = new char[size + 1];              strcpy(ptr, chrs);           }            return(*this);         }          int main()          {            string str;            str = "Hello World";            cout << str << endl;            return(0);          }

Apprentice Hacker

#!/usr/local/bin/perl $msg="Hello, world.\n"; if ($#ARGV >= 0) {    while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {      $outfilename = $arg;      open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";      print (FILE $msg);      close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";    } } else {    print ($msg); } 1;

Experienced Hacker

#include #define S "Hello, World\n" main(){exit(printf(S)  strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c % a.out

Guru Hacker

% cat Hello, world. ^D

New Manager

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" 20 END

Middle Manager

mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."? I need it by tomorrow. ^D

Senior Manager

% zmail jim I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

% letter letter: Command not found. % mail To: ^X ^F ^C % help mail help: Command not found. % damn! !: Event unrecognized % logout

[kriimsilm]

Üks õpetlik räpi video veebi progemisest

Spoiler

Link